Ok.

I’m not BACK back but I’m writing. Today…I am writing. My mother’s birthday is in 2 days. For a quick second this morning, I was actually in shock that I hadn’t heard from her yet about all the gifts and flowers and carrot cake cheesecake that she wanted for her birthday.
I was in shock that I hadn’t heard from my deceased mother. Chew on that shit for a minute. Whewww…that is some crazy shit. Not crazy like looney…but crazy like she’s been gone for over two months and I still think my phone is going to ring and it will be her. I still get funny emails and start to type “Ber…” to forward them to her.

THAT, my friends, is some fucked up and hurtful shit. Please believe me when I say this HURTS. Like…physical pain…

Today, I have been at work with this heavy ass feeling in my heart. Mia and QQ have been a blessing and they don’t even know it. They have taken my mind off things for a nice little minute. But the reality of the situation is that my mother’s birthday is in two days and she will not be turning 54 years old.

I am sitting here trying not to cry because I wore mascara today and the last thing I need is for this shit to be running everywhere and for people to see it and come in here and close my office door and tell me it will get better FUCK THAT SHIT.

What makes it even worse is that my father’s birthday is Friday. So, it’s not like I can roll around and live in this grief because he’s still here and we have to try to keep it together for him.

I’m not back. But writing helps me. These next few days will be rough. I thank you all for your prayers. I am trying.

Hiatus

(I was told that I should try to write about her, that it might help. At this point, I cannot do that. This CANNOT be my life right now. The past few days, I have been ok. While everyone around me has been falling apart, I have been strong, making arrangements to send my Mommy off in a way that she would like…calling the mortgage company, credit cards, etc. Today…I just really wish I could hug my mother. I wish I could call her and hear her laugh. I’d even be ok with her bitching me out about something. You never realize these things until after someone is gone. How was I to know that our last conversation would be about my prom dresses and Pillars of the Earth?)

I just…

So, yeah…all I can say right now is Hiatus. Indefinite.

Please pray for us.

Morning Funny

Sitting on the end of my bed, brushing my teeth, watching Sports Center. Den nen nen DEN NEN NEN!

Anyway, I just about lost my shit when I see Rafer Alston slap Eddie House in the back of the head.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!

I had an instant flashback to Bernice doing the same to my brother…”Boy, SITCHO ass down and be quiet!”

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mr. House gets a *slight* side-eye for the weak stare down but I guess it’s good he didn’t chin-check dude…right?  LOL!

I was late for work laughing at that ish. Hilarity!

Ugh

The first time I paid $1.50 to get a Cafe Mocha from this machine, it only filled the cup halfway. I took a sip…steaming hot liquid sugar.
Last night, before my last Final for the semester, I pay another $1.50 for a Cafe Mocha. Full cup. YESSSSSSSSSSSS! I take a sip. Steaming hot liquid ASS. There was no sugar in this shit! Too much sugar, no sugar AT ALL…I can’t win with this fucking machine…

MMVBT…My Most Valuable Boo Thang

LeBron arrives at St. Vincent-St. Mary high school in Akron, OH to receive the NBA MVP award.  I’m a witness to all that fine manliness…yum!

 

 

Get it, boo.

 

Lebron and his mother, Gloria James.

 

Lebron, girlfriend Savannah, Lebron James, Jr. and Bryce James.  I love LeBron and he is my boo but this really is a cute picture…how handsome are those boys???

 

LeBron gets a bit choked up before he starts speaking about his mom.  Don’t cry, baby.  LOL

 

LeBron introduces his teammates.  For real…yall are up here in sweatpants and tee shirts?  J.J…sit and down.  Immediately.  LOL

 

Congratulations to LeBron.  He truly deserved this award. 

6pm.com

Causes the deaths of a young Cleveland woman and her bank account. Details at 11.

You Already Know

Cavs clinch NBA’s best record with a record of 66-15 (!!!!) and most importantly, home court advantage for the playoffs.

I refuse to even let myself believe that they’ll win the Championship this year.  I can’t.  I just can’t do it.  But…if they do…turn on your local news after the  game and you’ll see the reports of 20,262 unconscious Cavs fans in Q.uicken Loans Arena. 

I Blame Mia

She bought *3* pairs of shoes, including a pair of red 5 inch heels. I had no choice BUT to look around Charlotte Russe. Somehow, I ended up with these. I don’t know what happened…

I see…skinny jeans, a hot graphic tee and these shoes in my warmer weather future.

D Is Nuts

Randomly, the other day, D got a text from a number not saved in his phone.  It said:

“Can you work for me today?”

Someone had the wrong number.  I told him he should text back and say “Yeah.”  LMAO!  But that could have been all bad for somebody so he just ignored it.

Last night, he got another text.  It said “Hey, want to meet for a beer?”  We’re laughing about it because somehow this person didn’t realize that he was texting the wrong number.  D didn’t respond.

THEN, this person decides to call.  D didn’t answer so they left a message.  He let me listen to it.

“Hey, dude.  I was calling to see if you wanted to meet me for a beer.  Max and Sam had to leave.  We could meet up at your place or at mine.  Doesn’t matter.  So, uh, just call me back and let me know.  By the way, on your voicemail, you sound like a muthafuggin pimp!  Alright, later.”

To say that D and I were ROFL would have been an understatement.

Now first, on D’s voicemail, he CLEARLY states his full name.  “Hi, you’ve reached the voicemail of D****** J******.  I’m sorry I’m not able to get to the phone right now…etc.”  Did this person NOT realize they were leaving a message on the wrong person’s voicemail?!  And if you’re that friendly with someone that you know where they live…how could you not notice a difference in their voice and think hey…maybe this is the wrong number???

LMMFAO!!!!!!!!!

So, D asked me if he should text them.  I told him YES!  He wrote back: “I think you have the wrong number…and yes, I am a pimp.”

*dead and dying and dead all over again*

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The guy called back and apologized and said he was gonna kick this mystery person’s ass for giving him the wrong number.

We laughed about that for a good 20 minutes…hilarious!

Randoms

Wall E just might be one of the cutest movies ever.

Sometimes, I enjoy coon music.  *doing the Stanky Legg* 

Flu…and then bronchitis right afterwards.  Nice.  And I’m still sniffling.

I made the Dean’s List last semester.  This semester the prof (who is also a pastor) in my Religion class is seriously trying to fugg up my g.p.a.  That’s not very Christian-like.

Do guys really think I’ll take them seriously after they try to talk about sex within the first few conversations?

I have a hoodie that says “Young. Black. Gifted.” on the front of it in big pink letters.  I wore it flying back home from St. Louis a few weekends ago.  Some random white guy gave me a thumbs up.  Please sit down.

I hired a personal trainer who I pay to kick my ass 3x a week.  Working out on my own makes me sit on the couch and watch Oprah so I had to do it.  So far…good results.  I think we’ll keep him.

Even though he has me in the gym sweating like a monkey and my hair ends up looking like this: 

 

Found out recently that our contract with the state lottery will not be renewed and my last day here could possibly be June 30th or sooner.  Though I hide it well, this is STRESSING me out.

My brother and his GF got engaged on Valentine’s Day.  He told me he wanted to fake like something was wrong with my nephew and then when Tawanna came to see about the situation he’d propose.  Yes…I talked him out of this idea.

Ugh…conference call.  That is all.