Rant, Rant, RANT!

I just need to get some shit off my chest:

1)  Most people drive like idiots.  I think this might be why I have SEVERE road rage.

2)  When you are in the mall, WALK like you have some purpose!  Either that or get the hell out of my way!  I H.A.T.E. when people are just moseying along in a crowded mall and then stop in the middle of the walkway to hold a f’ing conversation.  Mooooooooooooveeeee!

3)  I’m starting to get a little beyond peeved with how much Chatty Kathy IM’s me at work.  The other day: “Ok, it’s official.  I’m bored.”  I’m NOT!  I’m working!!!!!  Before it was annoying…now I am starting to think this broad is incredibly rude!  Who does this type of thing???  I thought that ignoring some of her more useless IMs would be a big hint but she still sends them allll the time.  I can’t turn my IM off or set it to away because throughout the day I really do get legitimate IMs from other coworkers.  I hate to be mean to people but I fear that I might have to get buck with this chick.  Pray for me.

4)  The other day I went to Quizno’s.  There was a chick working behind the counter and two little young dudes sitting in the eating area.  I guess they were friends of hers.  I go up to order and she doesn’t greet me.  After a full minute of watching her refill a sauce bottle while cursing she just says: “Oh, order whenever you want to.”  Straight attitude.  I raised my brows but she didn’t notice.  She was too busy talking to the two chucklehead friends of hers.  I give her my order and as she’s (barely) asking me what I want on my salads she’s still giving me straight attitude.  I go over to pay and she snatches my debit card out of my hand, slams the stapler down after she staples my receipts, rolls her eyes as she’s handing me my bag…bitch, wtf?  I understand people have bad days but hell!  I wanted to check her SO bad but it would have gotten out of hand if she had talked back.  Whoooo it would have gotten WAY out of hand.  LOL!  I was thisclose to writing a letter to the manager of that Quizno’s.  Yall know how I am with complaint letters.  Hehehee.  But I let it go.  Lemme catch that heffa in the street, though…

5)  I was having a conversation with an old Admin Coordinator who used to work for my boss before she transferred to another state.  I was telling her about all the crazy, vindictive, assholish shit my boss does to me.  This broad actually took his side!!!!  She tried to tell me that he has a lot on his shoulders and people just don’t understand him.  Bull-fucking-shit!  Since when should anyway make excuses for a grown man?!  Try never.  He is fully aware of the batty ass shit he does around here.  I don’t care who, what, when, where, why…no one should be subjected to what he puts us through.  Damn all that!  I got off the phone with her with the quickness.

 

I feel better.  LOL!

Girls and their Daddies

I’m so sorry that I have been away.  Yeah, I’ve been posting but I’ve been very, very slow getting around to all my lovelies and reading and leaving comments.  Someone *cough* Rah *cough* *cough* called me out on this (chump) and I promise I’ll try to get better.  Usually I do have a lot of work shit going on but these past few days I have been blog stalking over at Very Smart Brothas.

Besides the fact that those dudes are hilarious, one can gain some new perspectives on relationships and such.  Very intelligent convo going on over there.  Check em out.

One day, back when I was in grade school, I got injured during recess.  That injury is how the oh-so-fly scar in my right eyebrow came to be.  Heh.

When my mom was called to the school to pick me up and take me to the hospital, the principal asked her if a grandparent should be called to pick my little sister up.  “No”, my mom replied, “my husband can pick Michelle up.”  And I remember still to this day how completely SHOCKED the principal was that my parents were together and married.  Thinking back on it, I understand.  Most of the kids in my class were being raised by single mothers or grandparents.

At times I have wondered how I would have turned out if I’d grown up without my daddy.  Would there have been any difference at all?  Would my older brother have been able to take on some of the roles that my father would have left void?  Would he have turned out to be the man he is without my daddy?

It wasn’t all good in the hood.  To be honest, there was a period of time where I think all 3 of us (me, sister and brother) wanted my parents to split up.  My dad was heavy into drugs and alcohol, we ended up being evicted from our home.  That wasn’t so bad since it wasn’t the greatest neighborhood.  However, because of this we had to move in with my grandmother.  And she lived on St. Clair.  Yeah…Bone Thugs and Harmony St. Clair.  One day my mom was in the backyard hanging up clothes to dry.  Two guys hopped over the chain link fence in the middle of a gunfight.  Shot her car up while trying to shoot each other.  She was fine but a few weeks later, my family moved to the suburbs.

Despite all the turmoil growing up, my parents instilled loads of self-confidence in me and my siblings.  Especially my daddy.  I think the relationship a girl has with her father has tons to do with how she’ll relate to men later in life.  Growing up, my daddy always told my sister and I that we were beautiful.  Not daily but often.  He made sure to compliment us so that when we heard it from a man it would be nice…but it wouldn’t be the end all be all.  At the same time, he made sure to tell us when we were acting ugly.

I remember him sitting us down and telling us that ANY man would be lucky to have us as their girl.  He told us to never settle and never be afraid of being alone.

In addition to all that, my mom told us to never be dependent on a man.  Have your own money, get your education, live your life before you settle down.  I think all these things in combination with seeing my parent’s marriage molded me into the woman I am today.  Am I perfect?  Hell to the no.  Not even close.  But I do know my worth.  I love ME.  I value ME.

 

I look at some my female friends and I wonder…where was the disconnect for them?  They are in loveless marriages and relationships.  Staying with some worthless dude just so they aren’t alone.  Or so the other woman doesn’t win.  Some of them grew up with fathers and some didn’t.  Does that really make a difference?  And is it only your father that can have such a profound impact on how you relate to men?  What about your mother?  What if her bedroom has a revolving door?  I imagine that could really mess with a young girl’s head…

I’m full of thoughts over here…what do you think?

 

 

 

 

D…Asks the Questions…?

I haven’t read these questions.  I am just going to post them and answer them as I go along.  He’s an idiot so be prepared to laugh.  LOL!

Name:  Monie in the Middle.  Duh.

Nicknames:  Mo, Monie, MoMo, Missy Missy, Monka, Mon, T2, Muffin, GaGa

Height (honestly):  I am 5′6.5″ no matter what you say

Weight (I wouldn’t round up for this one like you did height):  Enough.  I weigh enough.  = )

 What Tribe Are You From:  LMAO!  I hate you.

What Did You Eat Today:  Nothing yet.  But I’m about to have coffee and some form of junk food.

 When Did You Fall In Love With Me:  Who says I did???  WTF?

 One Thing About Your Physical Appearance You Would Change:  I would make my booty 10x bigger.

 What Gets Wetter And Wetter The More It Dries (FYI This Is Not A Sexual Question):  It is too early for this type of question.  Readers, what’s the answer?

 Would You Co-Sign For My New Car:  You are tripping!

 What’s The Best Gift I Have Given You:  Hmmm…probably my diamond pendant necklace.  I have barely taken it off since you gave it to me.

 What Fruit or Vegetable Best Describes Your Breast Size:  Dude…LOL!  I would say…grapefruit.  What kinda question is this???

 What Car or Vehicle Best Describes Your Booty:  A Geo Metro.  Small and useless.  *weeping*

 What Songs Would Best Describe Our Relationship:  “I Hate You So Much Right Now” by Kelis

 When Will You Get Your Car Painted:  LMAO!  That $400 quote has pretty much determined that I will NOT be getting my car painted.

 Will Ace And Deuce Be Able To Sleep In The Bed With Us:  I don’t think we will have a choice in this matter.  (Ace and Deuce are the dogs that D and I maybe plan on getting.  Yes, we have already picked the names.  LOL!  If I weren’t allergic to Japanese Chins, we would get one and his name would be…Deuce Li!  I came up with that ALL by myself!)

 If Lebron James Slapped Your Mama Would You Still Love Him:  LMAO!  LBJ can do no wrong in my eyes.

 Can You Do A Split:  I used to be able to but not anymore.  What kinda question…?

 Would You Rather Have Sex On Top Of The Refrigerator, TV, or Toilet:  You have serious mental health issues!!!  How the hell would you get and stay on top of a refrigerator or TV?!

 What’s The Last Thing You Done Where You Said “Man, That Was So Hard For Me” (that’s what she said):  LOL!  Ummm…probably the Business Law exam I took recently.

 If You Were Homeless Holding A Sign By The Freeway Exit Ramp– What Would Your Sign Say:  LOL!  No, it wouldn’t say that.  It would say:  MY DOG WAS KILLED BY NINJAS.  NEED MONEY FOR KARATE LESSONS.

 What’s The Most Amount Of Money You Have Spent On Jeans:  Jeez!  $150 which is not bad AT ALL!  (Ok, D thinks that I spend way too much on jeans but he fails to understand that I NEED to buy expensive jeans.  They are really the only ones that come in the length I need.  I don’t want to flood just because I decide to wear jeans and some 4″ heels.  Jeans are a wardrobe staple!  You get what you pay for!)

 What’s The Most Amount Of Money You Have Spent On Shoes:  I don’t spend as much on shoes as I do on jeans…usually.  My most expensive pair of shoes are my $165 Circa Joan & David leather boots.  But, but, but…these are a classic pair of boots that I can wear for years and years to come. 

 What’s Your Most Prized Possession:  My life.

 If You Were Still Stripping What Would Your Stage Name Be:  LOL!  Wait…STILL stripping???  Anyway…if I were EVER IN MY LIFE A STRIPPER (jackass) my name would be…Candy Land.  LOL!

 Why Do You Burp On The Inside:  Leave me alone!  (Most of my burps aren’t outward burps…they’re inward burps which is actually much weirder than it sounds.)

 On A Scale Of 1 to 10 How Light Skinned Are You- With 1 Being White And 10 Being Manila Folder:  *dead*  I AM CARAMEL, GOTDAMMIT!!!!

 What Do You Love Most About Me:  You make me laugh and you have a big…heart.

 What Is My Favorite Saying Right Now:  I really thought about this and I don’t know.  There’s so much stupid shit you say on a daily basis…

 What Is Your Favorite Saying Right Now:  I don’t have one!  LOL!

 What’s Your Favorite Martin Character –Dragonfly Jones, Jerome, Mama. Payne, Sheneneh Jenkins, Otis, Roscoe, Bob, Elroy Preston, or King Beef:  Sheneneh Jenkins was pretty damn funny.

 Is It Okay For A Grown Arse Woman To Collect Lion King Dolls:  *looking around* What are you talking about????  *whispering*  i gave all my lion king stuff away, you jerk!

 What Are You Wearing To The Wedding Tomorrow:  (D sent this to me on Friday, the day before we went to his cousin’s wedding.  I wore a black wrap dress with 3/4 sleeves, black chandelier earrings and dark gray plaid-ish peep toe heels with a black bow at the toe.  Muy caliente!)

 I Know You Have Done Some Stupid Things, Out Of The Thousands What Is The Stupidest:  Yes, I can be a little absent-minded.  I won’t tell you about the time I wasn’t thinking and put the remote in the freezer and then…went almost apeshit when I couldn’t find it and couldn’t change the channel. 

 What Is The Funniest Thing I Have Ever Done:  Hmmm…you do a lot of funny stuff but I think the Legends Ball you did for your Mom was awesome and hilarious.

 If Usher, Ne-Yo, Chris Brown, And Omarion Had A Dance Battle- What Place Would They Come In:  Chris Brown would definitely come in first.  Omarion would get second and Usher would come in third.  He’s fell off a little bit since he married his husband.  Ne-Yo would be last because there would be certain moves he couldn’t do due to his broken wrists.  How you doin?

 If You, A Crippled Quadriplegic, Your Big Grandma,  And Ellen Degeneres Had A Dance Battle – What Place Would You Come In:  LOL!  Uh, let’s see.  Ellen and I would tie for first.  We would have the ultimate dance-off in which I would flash a boob and she’d stumble and fall while dancing to Beyonce.  I would then win and Ellen would hire me to choreograph all her future dance routines.

 What One Cartoon Do You Wish Still Came On Today:  Uhhh…The Care Bears…?

 The One Outfit Or Article Of Clothing I Wear That You Love:  I loooove you in a suit.  *swoon*

 The One Outfit Or Article Of Clothing I Wear That You Wish I Would Burn:  I don’t know…you have a pretty good sense of style.  Let me get back to you on this.

 Who Is Smarter- You Or An Eighth Grader:  When I was in the 7th grade, the 8th grader was smarter.  And they still are.  *weeping*

 Why Do You Put Dishes In The Sink And Dishwasher With Food Still On Them:  It is completely asinine and I think, slightly insane, to WASH the dishes before you put them in the DISHWASHER.  I don’t put full plates of food in there, dorkface!  I even rinse them!  I just don’t wash them like you do. 

 Can You Use The Bathroom Without Reading Material:  You’re just gonna put all my business out there, huh?  LOL!  Yes, I read my mail when I am “in the bathroom”.  Why not kill two birds while dropping one stone?  Ok, that was gross.  LMMFAO!

 How Many Words A Minute Can You Type:  Last time I tested, it was 85.

 Do You Really Think I Care:  Shut up.

 What Will Be Our Wedding Song:  We’re not getting married but if we were it would be “Your Song” by Brian McKnight. 

 What Would Be Your Dream Wedding Ring:  I had it in my possession a month or so ago.  *weeping*

 How Bad Do You Want The Apple Pie In The Fridge:  I swear on Bernice that if you end up throwing away that apple pie away, me and you are gonna have some issues!  (I cooked dinner for D and my girls about 2 weeks ago and had apple pie and ice cream for dessert.  I told D he could have the last of the pie and he hasn’t eaten it yet!  I keep asking him if I can eat it and he keeps telling me no because I gave it to him.  BUT he’s not eating it so wtf…it’s gonna get thrown away, I can feel it.  I’m gonna throw his ass off the balcony.)

 What Is This Line From? “It’s your birthday! Not for real real, just for play play!”:  I said I was gonna Google this to find out but that’s a little bit more effort than I want to put in at this point.  I don’t know and right now I’m too sleepy to care.

 What’s Your Favorite TV Show Right Now:  So You Think You Can Dance and I’m digging Wipeout too.

 Do I Look Better With A Beard:  Honestly, you look fine with or without.  I thought these questions were supposed to be about me!

 If You Could Change One Thing About Me What Would It Be:  We don’t have enough time or space here, sir.  Hehehee.

 What’s The Worst (Most Embarrassing) Song I Have On My Ipod:  According to you, nothing.  Apparently, all your shit is hot shit.  However…LOL!

 What’s The Worst (Most Embarrassing) Song You Have On Your Ipod:  I have a Britney Spears song on my iPod.  Don’t judge me.

 Do You Really Throw Up If You Get Tickled Because I Think You Are Lying:  LOL!  I told D not to ever tickle me because I will throw up.  My brother used to do that to me when I was younger.  It’s the truth!

 Besides My Arms What’s My Best Physical Feature:  Besides your arms?  LOL!  Aren’t we humble?  Ummm…your best physical feature?  You have a nice man butt.  LMAO!

 Do You Love Me:  Sometimes.  Ok…most times.

Guys, I am so sleepy right now I am barely keeping my head up.  Hope you enjoyed this post.  Later!

D Writes The Post

In my infinite laziness, I asked D to write my next post.  LOL  I asked the questions.  Retardo answered them.

Name: D.J.

Age: 27

Height: 6’ 4

Weight: 215 lbs

Occupation: Engineer

Okay, enough about you.  What do you LOVE about me?: Everything – flaws and all…well almost everything (Monie:  He’s one big contradiction here…)

One thing I do that drives you crazy: Doubting yourself or putting dishes in the sink with food still on them… OOOOOOOHH!!! (Monie: I told him to give me ONE thing and he gives me two!  And I don’t even know what he means about this doubting thing.)

One thing I do that you think is cute: Pout your lips like a little Mon Chi Chi

Weirdest thing I do: I don’t know maybe its your fascination with peeling skin, busting pimples, and scraping scabs on other people (Monie:  LOL  This is sorta true.  I do like to peel skin but then I’m grossed out.)

Do I have a hidden talent?: Your talent is recognizing other people’s talent…LOL.. Seriously, I think you are a good writer (Monie:  He only says I’m a good writer so I’ll continue to write letters for him when he needs them.  He ain’t slick!)

What was our first date?: We went to Champps Restaurant and then went to see Hitch and that’s where you fell in love (Monie: All this is correct…except that love part.  LOL)

What was our SECOND date???: UMMM…I think the second date was at my apartment and that’s where you fell in love (Monie:  This was a trick question…I don’t even remember our second date…but this might be correct.  LOL)

Which do you hate more…me telling you to smell my freshly done hair or me asking you to wash my hair?: You telling me to smell your hair because you won’t leave me alone until I do it. I can’t just make the sniff sound anymore I actually have to have your hair lock up my nasal cavity for you to be satisfied. And each time it smells the same to me… like HAIRSPRAY!! (Monie:  Well, then.  LOL  And FYI, I don’t use hairSPRAY.  I use oils and hair SHEENS and they all smell really good which is why I try to share that with this foolio.)

What would you like to name our potential, maybe, if you act right, kids?: Kayla Marie and Deshaun Jacob…LOL… I don’t know, maybe something with a “D” for my son… maybe Devin, Darryl, or Darius… Something where he won’t get teased and he can get a real job (Monie:  Jacob?  LOL  Ew.  But I do like Kayla Marie.  Marie is Monie’s middle name.  Hehee.)

What’s one thing that someone could only know if they lived with me?: You grind your teeth while you are sleep. I would swear you were dreaming about some tough steak the way you chop at night.  (Monie:  ‘Tis true.  But I only do this when I’m extremely stressed about something.)

When are we going bike riding in the parks???: WTF!! I don’t know. We’ll go when I get MY bikes from my mom’s house (Monie:  When D lived in Akron we used to go on day long dates riding HIS bikes all throughout the MetroParks.  It was fun and good exercise.  I’ve been trying to claim one of his bikes as mine but as you can see…he ain’t really going for it.  LOL)

What would you change about me?: I would turn down your sensitivity a little bit

Don’t you answer that! (Monie:  And he answered it anyway.  *smh*  Can’t follow directions…)

Parting words: This wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Also, could you get some cheese for chicken tacos tonight?…LOL

Flicks

I am actually proving to be very bad at posting pics when I say I’m going to.  I think it’s because D usually has the digi cam in his car or some other stupid place or I really don’t feel too much like messing with the computer when I get home.

At any rate, here are the pics from Game Night.

 

Me waiting for these perpetually late hoes to get there.

 

Ash arrives.

 

So does Tray.  I don’t know what I was doing…

 

First, came the dranking…

 

 

 

Then the drawing…

 

Then the clowning…

 

 

(Rock Star status – NO PICTURES, PLEASE!)

(6 Heineken bottles, 1 Patron bottle, 1 hourglass timer)

I won’t embarass that man and post pics of him with the dress layed on him but this one was extra funny:

I know now not to ever, never, ever, ever pass out around those folks.

Sheeshhhhhhhhhhh

My printer/computer is acting like a SERIOUS asshole so I asked our receptionist to print out a UPS label and send some documents overnight.  She sorta has a problem doing what I ask her to do (adding extra steps, completing doing something the OPPOSITE of what I ask her, etc.) so I made sure to spell out E.X.A.C.T.L.Y what I wanted her to do.

Not even 10 minutes later, she comes to my office with all the interoffice envelopes I wanted her to send taped up in another bigger envelope.  She wanted to know if she could just tape the label to the front of it and send it.

I asked her why she put the envelopes in this one BIG ASS envelope and she tells me because it won’t fit in a UPS box.  ???????  WTF!

I go up to the front desk with her and try to tell her what I do when I send UPS stuff.  She’s steady trying to interrupt me and finally I just say “Please, just listen.  Let me tell you what I do.”

I get a UPS Pak from the cabinet.  One of those soft envelopes.  I start to rip open the BIG ASS envelope and she again interrupts me asking me why I’m doing that.  I tell her we don’t NEED THE BIG ASS ENVELOPE and tell her to just let me show her.  I take all the interoffice envelopes out of the BIG FUCKING UN-NEEDED ASS ENVELOPE and put them all into the UPS Pak.  She sees me doing this and says “Oh, I didn’t know we could use those.  I thought they were old.”  Now, just what in the fuck made her think they were old and couldn’t be used…I don’t know.  ESPECIALLY seeing as how I send documents to our corporate office every week and I ALWAYS use those Paks.  And they sit right on the ledge in front of her face until UPS picks them up at the end of the day!

*sigh*  Frustration…

I felt fine earlier.  Now I’m a bit bitchy because I don’t feel good.  I think my chicken salad was tainted.  I wanna barf.  Ugh.

What The Hell…

is wrong with this cherry?

Here I am, not even 2 posts ago saying how much I hate cherries and I end up eating a big bowl of them.  PMS will make you do crazy things.

My period this month has been off the hook.  Guys…you might wanna stop reading here.  There’s gonna be a lotta vagina talk forthcoming.

Backstory:  I got my first period when I was 12 or 13.  Regular age, I guess.  It was pretty normal until I got to high school.  I don’t know what flip was switched but my period became my own personal monthly hell.  I used to get cramps so bad that I’d miss days of school.  I couldn’t walk, heating pads didn’t help.  I used to punch the floor in an effort to make my hand hurt worse than my cramps.  Craziness!  Finally, at 15 my mom put me on birth control.  Ahhhh…sweet relief.  I’d still get cramps but I could pop a couple pills and I’d be all good.

I was 18 when I got my first Pap Smear.  I was a nervous wreck because I really didn’t know what to expect but my doctor (an Indian guy named Al Green — too funny!) talked me through the whole process and made me feel really comfortable.  I got my results back shortly after.  My Pap Smear was abnormal.  WTF did that mean?  I was soooo scared.  I had only had sex once and I thought that had something to do with my abnormal results.  My mom was gonna kill me!

In talking to my doctor I found out that me losing my virginity at 18 had nothing to do with it.  They didn’t feel like there was anything further that needed to be done at that point, but I did have to come back in 6 months for another Pap Smear.  When I went back, my cells were abnormal again.  At this point, my doctor made an appointment with me so I could get a colposcopy. I believe a few biopsies were taken and thankfully, everything came back normal. No cancer.

6 months later, I went back for another Pap Smear. Again, abnormal test results. I received another colposcopy. This time my doctor saw some changes in my cells that he was concerned about. He scheduled me for a LEEP procedure. He did warn me that he had to be very careful with the tissue samples that he took. He told me that if he took too much there was a chance that I could become infertile or have trouble having children. Yeah…not the best thing to hear when I have my vagina in your face and I’m scared to death.

Everything with the LEEP went well and it was established that I did not have cancer. Yay! When I turned 25, I was kicked off my mom’s health insurance. That meant no more Al Green as my doctor. Boo. I really liked him. I started seeing my new gyno and the birth control pills that I was normally on, they didn’t carry for some reason. So I started this whole cycle of trying new pills to see if they could control my cramps and acne without making me sick to my stomach. Thankfully, throughout all this, all my Pap Smears came back normal. To this day, they are all still normal.

I stopped taking birth control for a few months because the price went up and the one I was on was making me extremely sick. For some reason, my original birth control (Ortho Tri-Cyclen) was being offered again so my doctor and I decided that I’d start those on the Sunday after my period started.
Well…this month my period started on Tuesday, the 15th. Tell me why…yesterday…your girl was laid up in the emergency room?!

I guess my cramps decided to go out with a bang because I was in some SERIOUS pain yesterday. I woke up around 4:30 am, cramping. I decided to wait it out until 6:30. I had taken the last of my Aleve and I had to wait for the closest gas station to open so I could go and get some pain meds. At 6:30 I got up, threw on some sweats and went to get my meds. I got home, took 2 Tylenol Quick Release and waited for relief. Yeah…that shit never came. About 30 minutes later, I was in a lot of pain and feeling nauseous. I threw up and noticed little pill bits in the toilet. I took one more pill, trying not to O.D. and hoping that some of the medicine was able to get into my system. Yeah, that didn’t quite work. I threw up again about 40 minutes later. And then again about 20 minutes after that. This whole time I am in terrible pain but seeming to get 1 minute of relief before I was knocked down again by pain. At one point, it just wouldn’t let up. I have never thrown up from being in pain before so I started to get scared. D had already gone to work. I was home alone.
I tried for about 30 minutes more to wait out the pain but I couldn’t do it any longer. I called D’s desk but he wasn’t there. I called his cell phone and when he heard how I sounded I knew he could tell that I was in some major pain. He rushed home and when he saw what condition I was in, he told me he was taking me to the E.R. There’s a small hospital not even 10 minutes from where we live. That drive seemed like it took an hour. He parked at the door and walked me in. I felt like such a loser. LOL My hair looked a fiery ass mess, I am crying and snotty, people in the waiting room were looking at me like I was crazy. I just tried to keep my head down and get through the latest wave of pain I was in.

One of the nurses called me to her window and asked me what was going on. I told her I was cramping and in a lot of pain. She started to ask me for my information when the doctor came over and asked D if he knew my info so I could come back. He said yes, the doctor opened the door for me and I went back to a procedure room. I was on top of my pain at that moment so I was able to answer all the questions the nurse was asking me. When did my period start? What happened that day? Was I nauseous? Have I ever been pregnant? etc. She asked me to pee in a cup. I did that and a huuuuuge wave of pain came right after. She rushed me back into the procedure room, gave me a gown and said she would be right back to hook up my I.V. I was elated. I.V. means pain meds straight to my system. Yes, yes, yes!!!!

She came back, hooked up my I.V. and took some blood work “for the doctor”. Oh, I’m sure that’s gonna cost me. Anywho, she gave me some meds for my nausea and something for the pain. Then she went and got D and he sat in the room with me. The nausea meds worked right away but I was still cramping pretty badly. I was getting some relief every few minutes but then the pain would come back with a vengeance. The nurse came back in and I told her that the pain meds weren’t cutting it. She went back and told the doctor and I heard him say to give me some morphine. Oh, sweet Jesus. She came back and confirmed what I heard and started preparing the meds. She told me that she was only going to give me half the dosage at first and that if I needed more she would give it to me. She said that the whole dose would knock me out and she didn’t want to do that if it wasn’t necessary.

Listen when I tell you this…morphine…whew! She put it in my I.V. and it felt warm going in. And then from the top of my head, all the way down to my toes, I felt a beautiful blanket of numbness. I was cramping before she put it in, as soon as it got to my lower tummy, I felt NOTHING. She walked out the room and I just laid there, feeling GREAT! D was reading me a children’s pop up book (lol he’s dumb) when she walked back in to see if I felt better. She said I must have if I was letting him read that book to me. She asked me if I needed the rest of the meds and I told her that I felt fine. I laid there for about an hour before the doctor came in and asked me if I was ready to go home. I told him I felt terrific and that I wanted to leave. He wrote me a prescription for Cataflam and another for Vicodin. He told me to fill both, just in case the pain came back. He said the morphine would probably wear off in an hour and I should be prepared. I ended up having to take 3 Vicodin yesterday to stay comfortable. I took 2 Tylenol this morning and I am doing good.

I can’t wait until I start on my birth control so I don’t have to go through this mess again. What I’m really scared about though…is this emergency room bill that I’ll be getting. Oh boy…

Lazy

Too lazy to do a real post today.  I’m soooo tired and the weekend went by way too fast.  This is an email forward that I got.  Here ya go:

1. What is your occupation? Administrative Coordinator — basically, I do EVERYTHING pertaining to keeping this office running.  Administratively, financially, personnel-wise, etc.

2. What color are your socks right now?  Caramel.  Cause that’s the color of my skin.  Side-eye to anyone who disagrees!

3. What are you listening to right now?  The air conditioning.

4. What was the last thing you ate?  A gross Red Robin burger for dinner last night.  I need to eat breakfast.

5. Can you drive a stick shift?  Unfortunately not…me trying to learn was tragic.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?  D went out last night and somehow felt it was ok to call me after midnight (waking me up in the process) to tell me he was on his way home.  OK!  Just come home!  Sheesh!  So yeah…he was the last person I talked to.

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you?  This is an email forward but yeah, I love her.  My brother’s girlfriend sent this to me. 

8. How old are you today?  28

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?  Definitely basketball

10. What is your favorite drink?  Frozen coke.  Or Hennessey.  Or both…together.  LOL

11. Have you ever dyed your hair?  Yes, once.  Years ago.  It was a pretty caramelly color.  Caramel…like my skin.  Jerks.

12. Favorite Food?  Anything potato related.

13. What is the last movie you watched ?  The Other Boleyn Girl.  Yesterday.  With the subtitles on.  LOL  Weirdo…

14. Favorite day of the year?  Thanksgiving.  I’m such a fat ass.

15. How do you vent anger?  Crying helps a lot.  So does writing down how I feel.

16. What was your favorite toy as a child?  My Barbies.

17. What is your favorite season?  Summer, definitely.

18. Cherries or Blueberries?  Neither!  When I was little, we used to have a cherry tree in the lot next to our house.  Every day all the kids would go over and pick cherries and pig out.  I fucking hate cherries now.  And blueberries taste like dirt.

19. Do you want your friends to email you back?  Again, this was a forward.  But I would like to see you other lazy bloggers do this.

20. Who is the most likely to respond?  Um, don’t know

21. Who is least likely to respond?  Don’t know.

22. Living Arrangements?  Just me and my pet monkey.  I named him D.

23. When was the last time you cried?  LOL So ok…I’m pretty sensitive.  When I see other people like…crying on TV, I feel their emotion and I might tear up a little.  I was watching Lisa Williams: Life Among the Dead, right?  And she was able to reconnect this family with their son who had passed away.  And I was imagining my Granny and all the children she’s lost and I MIGHT have started crying just a little.  Maybe.  Don’t judge me!  LOL

24. What is on the floor of your closet?  Shoes, shoe boxes, a TV, the box my flat-screen came in, maybe some clothes and other miscellaneous things.

25. Who is the friend you have the longest that you are sending this to? Not sending this…

26. What did you do last night?  D’s older sister came over and brought his younger sister and niece.  We all went out to dinner.  I played around on the computer for awhile, watched some TV and went to bed.

27. Nails painted or plain?  Almost always plain.  I type too much to keep them painted.

28. What are you most afraid of?  The unknown.

29. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers?  Cheesy and spicy.

30. Favorite dog Breed?  I don’t have a favorite.  I like most dog breeds.

31. Favorite day of the week?  Saturday.  Cause you get to wake up late and go to bed and wake up late again the next day.

32. How many states have you lived in?  Just punk-ass Ohio.

33. What makes you happy?  It doesn’t take much.  A good shoe sale can make my whole month.

 

How About This?

How about…

You don’t quit and turn in your company cell phone with naked pictures of your girlfriend saved in it?

Yeah…that’s probably a bad idea. 

Sheesh…

Real post tomorrow.  This just fucked my head all up.  LOL

Have A Good…

weekend!!!  I think I’m outta here early and then D and I are going to Niagara Falls for the 4th.  I’ll holla on Monday.  Peace!