101 Things About Me

Yes, I am biting, Diva.  LOL

1.  I am allergic to apples and bananas.

2.  But I still eat both.

3.  Red apples seem to affect me more than green ones.

4.  My hair is really growing and I am itching to cut it.  ITCHING, do you hear me?!

5.  I am having doubts about this moving in with the girlies thing.  I really like my own space.

6.  And I don’t like it when people read my magazines before I do.

7.  But this will help me and she save money and the debauchery…oh, the debauchery.

8.  I am currently wearing a comb-over because although my hair is growing, I still got that one spot that’s looking a little lean.

9.  Can someone recommend a product for this?!

10.  I thought about doing a product post but I don’t think my guy readers would be interested.

11.  But then I said fuck it…I pay rent at this blog.  Well, not really but you get where I’m coming from.

12.  Still debating on a product post. 

13.  And that post I told Milly I would do AGES ago.

14.  When Sis and I went to see SATC, it was the first time I ever told someone in my family about the sexual abuse.

15.  She was so shocked, she had to smoke a cigarette. 

16.  But then she told me that I didn’t know how much that helped her because she thought that he did it to her because she was weak.

17.  Little did she know that he did it to her, me, our childhood BFF and all our girl cousins.

18.  I FUCKING HATE that bastard.

19.  I feel that what he did to my Sis and made her do to him (*weeping*) is 100x worse than what he did to me.

20.  I honestly don’t know how she survived it.

21.  Sometimes I think that explains why she went all kooky for a few years.

22.  I made her promise/pinky swear/Sister Swear not to tell our parents or brother or grandmother.

23.  What good would it do them now? 

24.  Plus, I really don’t feel like it has affected me in a negative way.

25.  Yeah, it’s fucked up but I deal with it.

26.  I didn’t cry when he died. 

27.  After my mom told me I looked at her and asked what was for dinner.

28.  FUCK him.

29.  I know my tittie balls ain’t growing so WHY IS MY BRA TOO TIGHT?!

30.  D and I are doing couples counseling.  One last hurrah.  Shuddup Sha.  And Diva.  LOL

31.  I really, really, REALLY love that dude. 

32.  We just need to learn to argue better.

33.  Cause he refuses to be wrong even when he is wrong.

34.  Plus he don’t know by now that I. WILL. NOT. LOSE.

35.  All that weight I lost when I was eating good…

36.  Gained that shit all back. 

37.  Minus 3 pounds.

38.  I’m sick of being jiggly so…here we go again.

39.  I don’t think my body knows how to be “thick”.

40.  It just knows “jiggle”.

41.  Sis, D and brother’s wifey all told me that if I just toned, I’d have the perfect body.

42.  They lying.

43.  I am on a mission though.

44.  Cause I don’t wanna look a fiery ass mess come November.

45.  Speaking of November…I might need to stay in Jersey.

46.  Cause NY prices are ridic!!!!

47.  Please stop IM’ing me. 

48.  I’m not interested! 

49.  This is harder to do than I thought.

50.  Skip 51 if you’re not interested in TMI.

51.  Too much coffee this AM…I need to handle some biz.  LOL!

52.  I wore my Louboutin “Fox Trot” knockoffs this past weekend.

53.  I think that’s a 4″ heel…I was tall as shit.

54.  D was still taller though.

55.  *Swoon*

56.  I wore those, jeans and a fitted black shirt to see EarthQuake at The Improv.

57.  I carried a silver clutch with a big ass gold button closure.

58.  Matching all over the damn place!

59.  My jeans were extra tight with all this new found booty fat.

60.  I wish that could stay and the gut could go.

61.  But alas…’tis won’t be the outcome.

62.  Imma get crackhead skinny again and hate it.  *sigh*

63.  They are starting S.ummer F.ridays at the J.O.B.

64.  Basically, on designated Fridays throughout the summer, you get to work a half day.

65.  That shit is sweet but bitch boss will find some way to gip us.

66.  That’s how you spell gip, right?

67.  I am an amazingly profound speller but that “gip” is really throwing me off right now.

68.  Bygones.  My one BFF is being evicted as we speak.

69.  I feel bad for her. 

70.  But I do think had she been more responsible, the situation could have been avoided.

71.  Say…paying your rent instead of getting your hair done.

72.  I am SO ready to go home.

73.  I wondered if people realized that I was just moving when I did my last post on Blogger.

74.  Scroll down, homies…scroll down.  LOL!

75.  Then I saw how many people loved me over here and I was non-nervous again.

76.  I feel Factually Fictional #2 coming on…

77.  That guy…

78.  I can’t stand attitudes in a drive thru window.

79.  If you hate your job that much, get another one!

80.  There should be a law that when you have been separated for so long, you get an automatic divorce.

81.  Shit or get off the pot!

82.  Speaking of shit…

83.  LOL!  That was disgusting.  Sorry.

84.  I just really have to go.

85.  And I have a problem with going at work. 

86.  Too many people walking around.

87.  And since my company has filed suit against the state l.ottery, we have been denied access on the floors I used to use for serious bathroom breaks.

88.  ARE YOU NOT ENTAHTAINED?!

89.  Prolly not, huh?

90.  Stop reading then!

91.  A week or so ago, bitch boss came back from lunch and told me that LeBron James was at a restaurant across the street from my building.

92.  Do you know I was so fucked up from my allergies that I did not even go eye-stalk him?!

93.  I went straight home and OD’d on drugs.

94.  Did not pass go.  Did not ask LeBron for $200.

95.  For shame.

96.  I bet he was looking tall and scrumptious. 

97.  I know you heauxs don’t think he’s hot.  Shadditup!

98.  Flat Randy traveled to Cali.  He chilled with Jane.

99.  Gas is beating my ass right about now.

100.  I meant petroleum.  Not that other gas.  *snicker*

101.  And I’m done!