Why

Why do you feel the need to staple this THREE times? Is three staples gonna hold these two damn sheets of paper together better than just one staple?!

Why did HE walk into the office carrying a Mac bag?

Why does fruit from Whole Foods last like…indefinitely?

Why do I feel like I’m wearing a sweatsuit right now? Today’s outfit is COMFFYYYYY!

Why are my allergies acting an ass? Or is this the beginnings of a cold?

Why I prolly look like Rudolph right now?

Why would you ask ME if I know where your corporate card bill is being mailed?

Why he look like Robo-Cop without the armor?

Why did D rub my hair this morning and I loved him that much more?

Ah hell naw! Why did he just apply some stuff from the Mac bag to his face?!!!!

Why is my office heater not workinggggggggg?

Why did we go see Eric Roberson again last weekend and that shit was GREAT?!

Why have I been listening to his live CD non-stop since then?

Why is this reminiscent of when I saw Corrinne Bailey Rae perform on Oprah and took my ass right to Walmart to buy her CD…at 12:30 AM…on a weekday?

Why is this Allegra not doing shit? Damn, this is prolly a cold…

Why does that cancel my plans of going to class tonight and solidifies my plans of taking some Nyquil and getting in the bed?

Why did my B.C. pills KILL my sex drive?

Why is that shit BACK WITH A VENGEANCE?!

Why am I soooo happy that I’ll be off my rag when D and I are in *surprise destination*?

Why did that sound so unsexy? LOL!

Why are none of the outlets in my office working right now?

Why what the fuck is going on?!

Why is my laptop about to d….i……e……….?

Why that’s the end of this post?

Peace yall!

Tagged!

I was tagged by Ms. Opinionated and since I also did not have much to talk about…this will be fun. LOL

The rules are to elaborate on the word(s) I’ve put in bold lettering below.

Accent – I guess that classic Midwestern accent. A little country…but not as country as people from the Chi. LOL! People can definitely tell I’m from the Midwest when I talk. Because I speak PROPER ENGLISH I also sometimes get…”Did you grow up around White people?” Blah. I have also been told that I do say some words extra country-like. D makes fun of me all the time. But I can’t help it…my family’s from the south. Guess some of that rubbed off on me.

I Don’t Drink – I’m with Opinionated…I don’t drink beer either. It smells like piss and bums. I don’t want to imagine what it tastes like.

Chore I Hate – Grocery shopping. If I never went to the grocery store again, it would be too soon. D is always dragging me but sometimes he’ll go by himself, which I love. I don’t care if he comes back with nothing but hotdogs, fries and canned pineapples…at least I didn’t have to go.

Pets – My first pet was our dog, Duchess. She was extra dumb but we loved her. Then we got the cat from hell, Chucky. I don’t have a pet of my own right now (our apt. only allows cats…D and I are allergic) but my parents have a Yorkie named Fancy (as in Fancy from the Jamie Foxx show lol). She is a gorgeous little creature…such a girl. She actually likes to dress up in those stupid dog clothes. And she’s smart as hell. I won’t tell yall about the time she tricked me into getting up from the table so she could lick all up on my bowl of ice cream. D and I really want a dog but that will have to wait.

Essential Electronic – My mp3 player…I need way more music on there but I listen to it almost every morning on the drive to work.

Perfume/Cologne – I love Curve for men. OMG, even on women that shit is the bomb. Not saying I am all up on women sniffing them but you get what I’m saying. I also like Li ght Blue by Dolce & Gabanna, that perfume by Vera Wang…Princess…? Ummm…I just ripped a page out of my latest issue of Cosmo that had some new perfume that I want to get. Can’t think of the name right now but it was banging.

Gold or silver – I used to love gold but I wear nothing but silver now.

Insomnia – D would say that I sleep way too much. But he can stay up for days at a time…like a crackhead.

Job Title – Administrative Coordinator

Most Admired Trait – I have been told that I have pretty eyes. They’re green/gray. Surprisingly though, a lot of people don’t notice them. LOL! My granny says I have nice legs. D likes em too. However, I think that my left thumb is pretty damn awesome.

Kids – I don’t have any. I do want them one day but I’m not currently working on that. LOL!

Religion – I grew up going to a Baptist church. I don’t go regularly but my faith and belief (in certain things) is very strong.

Siblings – I have an older brother and a younger sister which puts me in the middle. Eh, I didn’t get many perks. LOL

Time I wake up – 6am, 6:30 am, 7am, 8am (by this time I’m late to work lol). On the weekends…I wake up whenever.

Unusual talent/skill – I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Vegetable I refuse to eat – I really tried to like brussel sprouts but ughhhh…I just don’t. But anyone will tell you…I will eat almost anything. I’m like a garbage disposal. Me love food.

Worst habit – I procrastinate. I hold grudges. I can sometimes be judgmental.

X-rays – Do teeth x-rays count?

My favorite meal – Oh God…did I mention that I love food?

I am tagging anyone who wants to do this. LOL!

Damn this Firewall!

I can’t post any of the pictures I had to go along with this entry so it’s gonna be extra boring. I actually wrote it the other day but am just now getting a chance to post it. Work has been hectic. Anyway, enjoy!

1) One of the things I hate MOST about other people driving is when you take 5 minutes to make a right turn. There’s no reason for it! Gawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, that shit drives me nuts. I have lost my cool many a time over a slow right turn.

2) PMS is real. I snapped at D this morning because he kept trying to feed me a grape when I really didn’t want a gotdamn grape and then he put the stupid grape right on top of my bowl of Special K and I lost it slightly. LOL Normally, this would never get to me. But I am ON EDGE right now. Between feeling puffy as hell, having a crater growing out the side of my face and those oh-so-wonderful pre-cramps…it’s not good times for Monie.

3) To curb my PMS, I bought shoes. They are gorgeous and I love them. Take a look.
(PICS WOULD BE POSTED HERE BUT…)

4) The pictures are shitty because I have this craptastic ass phone. (PICTURE OF MOTOROLA Q GOES HERE LOL) I would have been better off with a Treo. This piece of shit won’t hold a charge for longer than 3.75 minutes (seriously) and is forever acting up. I really hate it. But I’m stuck with it.

5) I am nobody’s mother. I refuse to clean up after these grown ass adults ANYMORE! For real…what the fuck?

6) You called me while I was in class. I said I’d call you back when I got out. I didn’t call you back until the next day. You come at me with, “Damn, that was a LONG class!” Grrrrrrrrrr! I already hate talking on the phone. And that comment made me hate talking on the phone…to you! By the time I get out of class, I am burnt out and ready to just go home and chill. And I’m sorry but my time at home with D is his time. You’re not my man…you don’t get priority, nukka!

7) No, I will not have your baby just so he/she can get my eyes. (D did not say this stupid ass shit – some random fucktard did).

My Mommy just got a new truck. She’s been hanging on to her 1993 Lumina (LMAO!) for as long as she could but when it started leaking gas, she knew it was time to let it go.

9) D is trying really hard to make me his personal secretary but I’m not having it. Yes, there are some things that I will handle for him but dude…I am not sending emails to the Engineering College’s advising office to see what classes YOU need to take this Fall.

10) Found out that I’m not the only one that HE visually molests on a daily basis. For some reason, finding that out made me really, really angry. No, not cause I wanted to be the only one he did that to (ew) but because he actually had the balls to do it to someone else! That shit is sick and I’m getting to a point where I’m going to do or say something about it. I’m trying to get out of this PMS cloud before I do anything rash but it’s coming…I hope he’s ready.

11) They’re fucking. I know they are. Ughhhh…I just lost my lunch.

12) I like to hang my hand out of the window when I’m driving. But I always think that a car or huge truck will sideswipe me and rip my whole arm and hand off. So, I only hang my hand out when I’m in the far left lane on the freeway or not near any other cars on the streets. I’m weird.

13) I saw my uncle for the first time since he’s been sick. That in itself is sort of a shame but mentally, emotionally…I knew I couldn’t handle it. He looked better than I thought he would. He’s very thin and sorta pale. He doesn’t have any eyebrows and he had on a hat but I imagine he doesn’t have any hair. He had a little peach fuzz going on where his beard used to be. LOL It was cute. I’d heard that he had been pretty weak but when I saw him he was walking around and gave me a HUGE, super-tight hug. He’s gaining some strength but he has to rest frequently. Since the cancer spread from his lungs to his throat and esophagus, he is having a hard time eating. He’s in a lot of pain…I noticed the bottle of Percocet on the kitchen table. He told my Granny that he’s going to try hard to live as long as he possibly can. He knows he’s going to die from this. We all know it…but it kills me inside to really think about it.

A lot of people don’t understand why I’m so distraught…I mean, he is only my uncle, right? But we (myself, my brother and my sister) are 100% closer to my Daddy’s side of the family than my Mom’s. It’s weird but that’s how it is. Because of this, my Granny is like my second mother. Her love for us and our love for her is…it’s crazy, for real. I can’t even explain it. All my uncles are like fathers. They have been there…every day…since birth. I just feel…*sigh* Out of all three of us, I am the strong one. When my other Uncle died a few years ago from cancer, my brother and sister were done for. I was hurt and sad, of course, but I held it together for the most part. Seeing it happen again in the exact same way…

I can’t stop myself from crying at night…crying at random times during the day. I don’t know if I’m all messed up because this is what’s going on or scared because this disease obviously runs in my family. Like…who will be next? My other Uncle? MY DADDY?! (Lord, you might as well take me now)

Or maybe it’s just a combination of everything.

I’m just barely holding on and that…SUCKS.

(UPDATE: My uncle is back in the hospital with pneumonia. We are not allowed to see him because his immune system is really fragile and they cannot risk him getting any sicker. *sigh*)

WTF?

What is this Soulja Boy shit that’s all over the radio and YouTube?!

And why are we SuperMan’ing that hoe?

Jesus, take the wheel…

*smh*

Don’t F with Monie

As you all know I recently moved. My old apartment was bogus as hell and I had a little incident with them recently. You know how you have 30 days to get your security deposit back? Well, I didn’t get mine within 30 days. I had to call the leasing office repeatedly and they kept lying and telling me it was in the mail. When I called the actual property managers, they told me they had my check right there. Fucking liars. They couldn’t give me an answer on why it wasn’t mailed out. They wouldn’t overnight it so I had to drive 40 minutes to go and pick up my own security deposit. I was PISSED so I filed a complaint with the company and with the Better Business Bureau. I am all about complaining if I feel like something is wrong. LOL
Anyway, this is the email that I got back from the property manager this morning. It was addressed to me and she cc’d the woman at the BBB and a lawyer. I have taken care to protect the innocent (me) and the guilty (them). I would love to put them on blast but I won’t do that. Read below:

Regarding the complaint filed by Monie in the Middle on 8/14/07 the first order of business is that ##### Companies does not own the apartment where Monie in the Middle resided. Please note that #####, LLC is the owner and responsible party for this claim.

Ms. Monie’s security deposit was $475 and we refunded $285 of that deposit. The stove, toilet, bathtub and cabinets were very dirty. Blinds were broken and the there were thirty-one nail holes in the walls. That is in addition to the normal wear and tear you would expect with a move-out.

Ms. Monie’s complaint is correct as she received the check six business days late. The security deposit went through our Deposit Accounting Department due to the adjustments for excessive cleaning costs and repairs.

I am not aware of anyone “lying” to Ms. Monie that the check was mailed. We never intentionally held her security deposit. I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused and will gladly reimburse Ms. Monie 50 cents per mile for her the mileage from Cleveland to Akron to pick up her check.

Ms. Monie can contact Leasing Office Liar for mileage reimbursement at #####, LLC. The phone number is 000-000-0000. Thank you for the opportunity to respond to this complaint as resident satisfaction is our top priority.

Ass Clown
#####, LLC


Well, hell. She light weight dogged me and tried to make me seem like I kept a nasty house. D and I cleaned the hell of out that tiny ass aparment before we left. She said “blinds” were broken but ONE small end of ONE blind was cracked. She tried to play me. And THEN…50 cents per mile?! GTFOH!!!!!
So, I relaxed myself, woo-sah’d a little bit and this is what I sent in response:

BBB Lady,

I apologize for filing a complaint against the wrong company. I sincerely hope that the reputation of ##### Companies will not be tarnished. It is very clear to me now who the guilty party is.

Ass Clown,

As far as the “excessive cleaning costs and repairs”, I don’t agree with your assessment of the damage and I don’t understand what that has to do with why my check was late. Regardless of any repairs that needed to be done, you had 30 days to handle them. Nowhere in the email below do I see any REAL reason why the check was late. I paid the security deposit on time so I should have gotten it back on time. Period.

You may not have been aware that the employees in the leasing office lied to me but I can assure you that they did. Yet, why should I expect your company to admit to any wrongdoing?
Additionally, one would think that because I had to go so far as to file a complaint, that YOU would tell Leasing Office Liar to contact ME about mileage reimbursement but now I see how your company works. Is this an example of the “resident satisfaction” you speak of? You can keep the few measly dollars I would get in exchange for my huge inconvenience. Perhaps you can use that money to hire someone with some taste to handle those unsightly, so-called million dollar renovations. I will get more conciliation from telling everyone I know to steer clear of that residence!

##### are quickly earning a name as the slums of [name of suburb]. Taking this incident into consideration, I can certainly see why. Customer service speaks VOLUMES about a company. It would benefit you to remember that.

Good day to you all.

-Monie in the Middle



Take dat, take dat!

Sidenote: You really should see these renovations. They are awful. Like something out of a bad 70’s nightmare. I am glad to be OUT of those apartments. Have a good weekend, yall!

Sometimes I Hate Boys

Yesterday, I was nice and took D out to dinner. He was in an ok mood while he was at work. However, when he got home and discovered that his Xbox was again not working, his mood quickly went south.

DIGRESS:
WTF, Microsoft? This is like a $500 game system. There is no reason why it should be freezing up and doing other dumb shit. D has sent it back at least 2 times now to be fixed. That’s some bullshit.

I’M BACK:
I noticed his mood when he got in the car so when he’s like that, I either try to joke around to make him feel better or just leave him alone. He was telling me about how one of his female friends needed him to come over to hook up her computer. He didn’t feel like doing it yesterday so he said he’d just tell her he was going to the gym and couldn’t do it. I asked him why not just tell her the truth. He asked me if I always tell my friends the truth when I don’t want to do something. I said no. He said alright then. In the most joking manner EVER, I said “You need to start telling these hoes the truth”. All of a sudden he goes off: “Why do you have to call my friends hoes? Why are you disrespecting them?!” Yackety smackety blah blah blah. I told him that it’s not like I haven’t called them hoes before (jokingly) and that I was just kidding. He wasn’t trying to hear it. I knew that he was just taking his bad mood about the Xbox out on me so I tried to ignore it but seriously…that shit pisses me off.
Needless to say, he had an attitude while we were at dinner. He wasn’t saying much. I wasn’t saying much. Whatever.
We ordered our food and started eating. I got a steak with mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli. The kitchen ran out of mashed potatoes and they weren’t done making more by the time I was done eating. I was a little peeved by this. Our server asked if I wanted to take another side to go. Uh, no. That would be stupid. Instead I asked for it to be taken off the check or to get a free dessert or something. He said he couldn’t take it off because it was a side and came with the meal. GRRRRR. He said he’d ask the manager about the free dessert.
While he was away asking, D goes on and on about how I won’t be able to get a free dessert and blah blah fucking blah. I told him most places will do something like that for you when they run out of food or some other such inconvenience. He said this place was not “most places”. Just basically being a real a-hole.
The server comes back and says that I won’t, in fact, be able to get a dessert. He apologized and said there was nothing he could do. He walks away and the first thing out of D’s mouth is: “I told you.”
Whooooooooooo, boy, I swear I wanted to reach across the table and punch him in his jaw.
I was already mad at the fact that he was taking his attitude out on me but then for THAT to come out his mouth….
Now, I’m a Scorpio so my temper is like fire. I hold grudges and I hate when people say stupid, unnecessary shit to me. I paid as quickly as possible (yes, I still paid for both our meals even though I wanted to choke slam D — I’m not that much of a bitch lol) and we went home.
I went to the restaurant’s website and sent an email telling them what happened and what I felt I deserved. Because at the end of the day, I did not get my COMPLETE meal. True, I could have taken a side to go to get that complete meal but I didn’t want that.
I received a call today from the manager. He apologized profusely and said it was nothing but a big misunderstanding. He said he would have given me a free dessert no problem if he had known the full story. I could tell that our server was fairly new so I believe that he probably didn’t tell the manager the whole deal with what happened. Anyway, the manager said he’d send me something in the mail (a coupon probably) and that next time I’m in there to ask for him because dessert would be compliments of the restaurant. I told him that his apology meant everything and I appreciated his call and his gesture. I was nice and civil. LOL

D is cool now. We don’t usually stay mad at each other long. He gave me kisses last night and said he was sorry. Early this morning, while we were asleep, I turned over and made a mistake and elbowed him in the forehead. LMAO! I gotta keep his ass in line somehow. Fighting him in my sleep works for me.

Your Credit and You

I have really been on this kick lately of getting my shit together. Besides applying to a better school, I have been getting my financial situation together as well.
I opened a high-yield savings account and I have been making regular deposits. That has been working out well. I increased my percentage of income going to my 401(k). My job matches at 3% which is good but why not send a little bit more?
And then there’s my credit. I won’t lie. I completely screwed all that up when I was at Univ. of Toledo. I had all types of credit cards and was buying all types of shit. Even paying my rent with the checks that Capital One sends with their cards. Craziness, for real.
Anyway, I was sick of being in the bad credit club so I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! And I have finally seen the fruit of my labor. I checked my credit scores today and my score at TransUnion has went up 45 points!!!!!! It’s still not where I want it to be but this is major progress and I’m so excited! Can you tell? LOL
Besides continuing to pay my bills on time, I disputed tons of shit. You can’t even imagine how erroneous your credit reports can be! I had stuff on there that wasn’t even mine!
Let me tell you what I did:

TRANSUNION: I have several accounts listed that have been paid off for months now. These were collection accounts that I’m sure will still have to be listed until they fall off over time. The thing is, they are being reported as unpaid. Helllll no! Since I have proof that they have been paid, I disputed them so they are being reported as such. It probably won’t have a lot of bearing on my score but I want it to be 100% accurate. I’m still waiting on the results of the investigation for those.
Besides those, I one account that wasn’t mine AT ALL. I disputed that. I also had two accounts that were paid off but were past the date of being reported. I disputed those as well.
I also had about 9 public records that were totally bogus. At my old apartment, they would file for eviction with the courts if you paid your rent more than 5 days after the grace period. There was a short period of time when I was living there and unemployed. Naturally, I couldn’t pay my rent on time. However, I always managed to pay it before any eviction proceedings could be started. Because they did actually have to file paperwork with the court, I had all these dismissed civil suits showing up on my credit report. I called the court to see what I needed to do to have them removed (they were dismissed, I didn’t have anything to pay and never had to go to court…I wanted them GONE!) and she told me to dispute it with TransUnion. I did that and a week or so later, I got an updated report showing they were all deleted. I was ecstatic! Simply having those items removed is what caused the 45 point jump. I can’t wait to see what my score will look like once my other disputes come back. It might not be much but some is better than none.

EXPERIAN: These bastards had my student loan account reporting as being 90 days late one month. First of all, neither TransUnion nor Equifax were reporting it late. Why does Experian wanna be the asshole? Secondly, I have ALWAYS had some sort of deferment on my loans. I have not yet had to start paying them back yet. How, how, how could a payment be late…when I never had to pay? That makes absolutely no sense to me so I disputed that shit. LOL! We’ll see what happens with that. I also disputed for an accurate update on the collection accounts that I paid off but are still being reported as unpaid.

EQUIFAX: I didn’t have to do much here. Besides disputing the collection accounts listed above, they were pretty much accurate.

It will be about 30-45 days before I get the results of these disputes. We’ll see what happens. I’ll keep you guys updated. Wish me luck! And check your credit reports!!!! You never know what kinda foolishness they will have on there!

Hmmmm…

Today I wore:

Tan slacks, white long-sleeve, button-down shirt, red and white striped tank (wide straps – almost looks like a sleeveless sweater) over the button-down. That probably sounds like shit but believe me…I look very cute and fashionable today. And I have no sense of style so this is good for me.

Anyway, I’m standing at the elevator about to walk to Tower City for lunch when this random guy says, “Hey, you look like a candy cane!”

WTF…was that a compliment…or not? Damn. LOL!

Randomness

Good morning! I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who left their well wishes in the comments…and even those who didn’t but still sent up a little prayer for us. You guys are the best and I truly, truly appreciate it.

On to the randomness:

*Sir, you have a GM truck that apparently can pull a building from its foundation or some such shit. Why, then, are you driving it like a bitch?!

*I have SEVERE road rage. I cannot control it.

*D has a degree in Electrical Engineering. He’s going back to school this Fall for a degree in Mechanical Engineering. His brain is humongous. I love it. And I’ll love being able to play Xbox while HE’S the one doing homework! *evil laugh*

*When I take a shower, I need the water to be as hot as possible. I want my skin to turn red. That’s the only way I’ll feel clean.

*I can’t sleep in complete silence. Even if I’m dead tired. I just bought a Homedic sound machine for the bedroom. I love it. I think D hates it. He said the sounds (rain, ocean, waterfall, summer night) don’t sound real. I said they did. He said my brain is too small and easily fooled or something like that…I don’t know…I was already asleep.

*Dammit, I’m getting glitter everywhere. Why do I continue to wear this shirt?

*D’s birthday is September 8th. I’m surprising him with a trip to ???. (He said he doesn’t read this but I DON’T BELIEVE YOU, D) I’m so excited. I have something really, really nice planned for his actual birthday. I’ll be sure to take lots of pictures.

*Mayonnaise on french fries. All day.

*I weigh 162 pounds. Where did all that come from?! I was hovering around 145ish for the longest.

*My Granny loves D like he’s one of her own. He gets the all the hugs and kisses. She even had him out in her garden helping her pull up garlic. LOL It’s so sweet.

*I gave my Business Law final the smackdown. You might as well call me Monie In The Middle, Esquire.

*It’s been raining like…every day here. Last week we got about 5 inches of rain in 90 minutes. Streets have been flooding, people have lost all ability to drive. I don’t know about you but if I see a freakin lake where the street used to be, I’m not going to try to DRIVE THROUGH IT!

*I want a cinnamon roll BAD.

*Are you for real right now?!

Okay, I gotta go. I’m going to get a cinnamon roll and some coffee. Yum. Later!

Bad Day…

Since my uncle’s cancer diagnosis, he’s been in and out of the hospital. He’s been getting chemo treatments but not taking care of himself like he should. I talked to my Mom this morning and she told me that my uncle was out of the hospital. So I’m thinking okay, good. He must be doing a little better. Then she says that the doctors said there’s nothing more they can do for him. The cancer has spread rapidly and aggressively. They can only make him comfortable until he passes.

I feel like I’ve just been punched in the chest.

Lord, I am trying to hold it together over here but I can barely breathe.

I can’t even begin to imagine what my grandmother is going through right now. One more child lost to cancer. I found out today that my grandfather’s family (sisters, brothers) ALL died from cancer.

*sigh* I can’t do this today…