So a few months ago, I was getting my “hurr did” and there was this little Cauc boy in there getting his hair cut.
Background: Yes, I am black. LOL! One of my BFF’s manages a Best Cuts so I go to her every two weeks or so to keep my ends clipped and my hair in good condition. I do go to a “black” salon for my touch-ups, though…
Back to the story. The little boy and his dad were talking about soccer and how the little boy needs to be more aggressive. The little boy had on orange Crocs and I’m thinking to myself: “Look at what you have this poor, unfortunate, unknowing child wearing! Are little BOYS supposed to wear Crocs?! You can’t be agrressive in orange Crocs!” Hence, the title of this here entry. Stupid…I know.
So until Mr. D can find the cord for the camera so I can upload the apartment photos, I’m just gonna be posting random shit. You have been warned. Today’s post will be about what’s in my little blurb. You know. That “Monie’s mental musings about…” bullshit. Yeah that. It’s what I feel like doing. Ha!
LIFE: Life is good right about now. School is going well. New apartment that I love. And…D is cooking dinner AGAIN and it’s muthafuckin taco night! Hell yeah!
FAMILY: I was at my parent’s the other day, eating dinner with Mommy and my nephew. He lives with my parents cause my sister has lost her everloving mind. More on that later. Anyway, I can still remember when Sis was pregnant. Laying in the bed with her, watching TV, rubbing cocoa butter on her tiny ass belly (please babyJesus, let me look as good as Sis when I become pregnant). I remember being in the delivery room for 3 days while she gave birth and I got the best form of mental birth control EVER. I remember how tiny, tiny, tiny my nephew was and watching him while my sister was gone…putting him in the carseat so he’d stop crying and go to sleep (Try that. Shit works). Now my little baby is 6 years old and like…holding conversations with me. Fucking my head all the way up. I look at him and I have so much hope for his future. Auntie loves you!
WORK: You pulled me to the side the other day and basically told me to get my attitude together. You asked me if I enjoyed my job and what you could do to make it better. I told you that I did enjoy my job and I didn’t need you to do anything. The thing is, I do love my job. I get along with everyone. I’m learning a lot and I feel like I’m contributing to making the company a success on a daily basis. The perks ain’t so bad either. I know you notice me laughing and joking around with everyone…but you. And that is simply because you FREAK ME OUT. I have noticed from Day 1 that the way you try to interact with me is not appropriate. The flirtatious tones, coming to my office door and just standing there and STARING at me, looking me completely up and down when we walk past each other, staring at my chest and not even really trying to hide it!!! As a survivor of sexual abuse, I am very attuned to “bad vibes”. YOU are giving me those vibes. As a result of this, I snap at you when you ask me questions. I snap at you when you come into my office and just stand there. I rush to get off the phone when you call. I don’t laugh and joke around with you because I don’t want you to think I am open to any of your “advances”. You have a problem and you should be ashamed…you have a teenage daughter. You are making me dread coming in to work everyday and I hate that there’s really nothing I can do about it…just yet. Satan has a very special place in Hell for you, you perv!
SCHOOL: I was thissssclose to skipping class tonight. Wtf was I thinking, taking summer classes? Glad I went though. That fucker covered two chapters in one class. Called himself giving us our money’s worth by going over the 3 (three!!!!) hour allotted class time. Fucker.
SPORTS: Before I met D, I liked sports but wasn’t into em all like that. I’d go to basketball games for something to do. I’d go to baseball games to get a nice tan. Football? Blech! Now, though…this dude has created a monster. I still don’t really fucks with football like that but I’ll watch an O State game. Baseball…ehhh…it’s cool. Still a good spot to get a tan and a good hotdog. Basketball however…oh shit! I am right there with him, Witness t-shirt on, yelling “DUNK ON THAT NINJA, ‘BRON!” at the TV. LOL! I heart LeBron so I’ll automatically watch the Cavs but I watch *other* teams too. I read the Sports section of the newspaper and keep up with trade rumors, etc. Shit’s crazy and I almost think I’m not me. LOL!
RELATIONSHIPS: At my old job, I used to be “friends” with this chick L. She was cool when I first met her but I quickly noticed she was 6 cans short of a 6-pack. Yeah, that bad. However, in my two years at this job, we remained “friends”. She was a quirky bitch. One of these: “Oh my God, I met this guy and he called me at 7:35 instead of 7:30, WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT MEEEANNNSSS?” It means he prolly took a piss before he called you, dumb bitch. She’s Italian and really into her nationality. Which is cool, that’s great. But if you told her she sorta looked Puerto Rican because she straightened her hair, the broad might not talk to you for a week or two. She takes that shit SERIOUS. And she only wants to date Italian guys. And wonders why she can’t find a decent dude. Well, trick, if you take 100 guys, weed out the losers and all the non-Italians, what the fuck do you think you’re gonna get left with?
On my last day at the gig, all my girlies took me out to lunch. L said she’d meet us all there after she ran to the bank. The bitch never showed up. Halfway through lunch she leaves a message on my cell phone saying she didn’t feel like any drama and because A was there (L had beef with A every other week over the stupidest shit) she was gonna skip lunch. At first, I was pissed. Like…you raggedy bitch. You can’t think beyond YOURSELF for one minute to come celebrate my last day with us???? Word?! I got over it quick though. LOL! I saw the whole situation was actually a blessing in disguise. If she did some shady shit, I’d have a reason to stop being her “friend” without all the extra. It worked too. Haven’t talked to the silly hoe since. LOL!
TELEVISION: Boring. I can’t wait for Lost. And I hate when Oprah is on summer vaca. Ooh, but So You Think You Can Dance is good…
FASHION: I bought another BCBG dress on Overstock.com today. For less than $40 with the sale and the promo codes I found online. Man, they almost giving shit away on that site. Yall better get on it.
CANDY DISH: The candy dish up front is empty cause those greedy muthafuckas take handfuls every time they walk past it! Fuckers!
