Warning: This post will be all OVER the place. LOL
Affection is defined as “fond attachment, devotion, or love”. I think of it as more of a physical thing…wanting to hug, kiss, cuddle, caress. Basically, to me, affection is the physical expression of your love for another person. I even feel like it’s deeper than sex. So what do you do in a relationship where there’s little to no affection?
For some people this might be ok. Not everyone is affectionate. A few hugs, a kiss here and there. That’s all some people need. However, what if, in a relationship, one person is affectionate and the other is not? What can be done in a situation like that?
I can imagine that the person who is not getting the affection could feel alienated and alone. I think that being affectionate sends the message that you care, that you want to be a source of protection, that you want to be around that person, that you want to feel and smell their skin, etc. I know that you can say that in actions and words…somewhat. But there’s nothing like a long, tight hug from the person you love. There’s nothing like missing someone all day, getting home and seeing in their face that they are happy to see you and missed you as well.
It’s hard for me to understand how someone can NOT be affectionate. In a relationship, how can you not want to kiss, cuddle, hug, etc. your partner? After all, what is a relationship without affection? A friendship? What message are you sending when you push your partner away when they try to be affectionate towards you?
Maybe I don’t get it because I am super affectionate. I love deep long hugs and kisses. I love to cuddle and just be around my partner. It’s hard for me to be otherwise. Can I be too affectionate? I guess sometimes. I am realizing that not everyone is like me. I have to learn how to take it down a few notches. It’s hard. It’s real hard. LOL And not just because I am not getting something that I want. It’s hard for me to feel emotionally attached without the physical shit. And without the emotional attachment, I have a hard time with the other important things that a relationship entails. I just know with me personally, when I am getting regular, genuine affection…boy oh boy! I don’t know…maybe I am weird. It’s just something about it…
For instance, I used to date this guy that lived in Buffalo, NY. That is about 3.5 hours away from me. And even longer on the Greyhound which is how I used to go visit him. Even with this distance, I would go see him every other weekend. I would save money from my little chump change job to go see this dude! LOL I met him when I was in the 10th grade. I was in Columbus, OH for some school shit. He was there visiting friends. We saw each other in some store in the mall and locked eyes. LOL We exchanged info. Phone numbers and addresses since we didn’t live in the same state. I got back home and for a month or so, I didn’t call. I didn’t hear from him either. Then, just out of the blue one day I found his address and wrote him a letter. I got a call from him about a week later. He was in the hospital. He’d been in a car accident. He was pretty banged up so he couldn’t talk long. He said he’d give me a call later. I didn’t hear from him for about a month. I actually got a letter in the mail from his sister. Inside the envelope was another envelope with a letter from him with the return address of a jail in New York. From his letter I learned that he was in jail because he’d been driving the car when he was in the accident. His bestfriend and his girlfriend were in the car with him. Only he and his bestfriend survived the crash. Crazy stuff, right? Anyway, we corresponded for 3 years via mail and phone calls while he was in jail. I started visiting him when he got out. Damn, I have went off on a HUGE tangent here!!! I brought up this dude because I remember distinctly how he used to hug me. He’d hold me around my waist and squeeze me so tight…while rubbing my back really deeply and breathing in my scent….damn. I just innately felt like he needed me and nothing else right then and there. Yeah…I’m rambling.
Anyway, I am LOVING the new apartment. When D and I saw it before we signed the lease and moved in, we thought it’d be too small. The living room looked to be about the same size as the one in the apartment we were leaving. The bedrooms looked tiny. We were worried our queen size bed wouldn’t fit. We were wrong as hell! Even with our huge ass sectional in the living room, we still have TONS of room. The master bedroom fits not only our bed, but two nightstands and a dresser with room to spare. The bathrooms are ridiculously big. The vaulted ceilings…omg. I think I’ll take pics of the new spot to post next time. I seriously love it here.
Well, I’ve rambled enough here. Gotta get these clothes out the dryer (in-suite FUCK YEAH!) and put them away before they wrinkle. Have a Happy 4th of July!!! Send me some ribs! Peace!
